‘Laura Marney is one of Scotland's best-kept literary secrets.This is a biting laugh-out-loud satire which is never crueller than life. Marney's unlikely heroine meets life head on and lives on in the reader's imagination long after the book is finished. An energetic, edgy book with wide appeal' Louise Welsh, author of The Cutting Room.

Everybody"s on anti-depressants. They"re all suffering from Post Romantic Stress Disorder. Not being happy all the time makes them unhappy and stressed. Nowadays, not being happy is deeply unfashionable and therefore quite intolerable, and so everybody"s (secretly) on the happy pills.

Bertha chucks Donnie who goes out with Daphne and begs her not to chuck him but then he chucks her and returns to Bertha who inevitably chucks him again.

Carol has uninhibited sex which ends with her panty liner stuck to the bottom of someone"s shoe.Donnie, after a mystery bite in a Third World country doesn"t know what"s incubating up his bum.

Daphne gets fat. She makes soup all the time and wonders if Woolworths sell a hosepipe to fit a Vauxhall Vectra.Pierce is a fat balding womaniser whose only steady relationship is with a cup at the sperm bank. He"s the only one not on anti-depressants.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

Chapter 31

Chapter 32

Chapter 33

Chapter 34

Chapter 35

Chapter 36

Epilogue