本书从哲学与文化的深层次，整合自己近20年来的研究心得，从“操纵”、“谦和”与“艺术”三个角度来探讨华人的语言行为。作者认为，从操纵的角度看，沟通人可用机灵的语言使自己在沟通中掌握优势，甚至可以一语双关，用客套话来灭对方威风。从谦和的角度看，华人喜用含蓄、委婉的方式来表达对他人与宇宙的敬意；委婉不止是说话的方式，更是一种宽容与尊敬的态度。从艺术的角度看，诗词、对联、成语、打油诗等各种语言艺术，丰富了华人精神生活，让他们得以吟咏人生，享受娱乐。这三个方面层叠交错，可能同时运行，也可能互相掣肘，体现在每一个华人的人我互动过程中，从而构成一幅生动活泼的人际沟通画面。

本书结合作者近20年的研究心得，从哲学与文化的层次以及“操纵”、“谦和”与“艺术”的角度来深人探讨华人的语言行为，旨在为读者展现一个丰富多彩的华人语言行为的全貌。在跨文化交际学领域，对华人语言沟通的分析至今尚不够深刻与全面，本书力求弥补这一缺失，一方面抛砖引玉，让更多的读者来思考华人的文化内涵，并进一步探讨华人的语言沟通行为；另一方面也为跨文化交际学学者提供一个崭新的视角，使之重新思考东西文化二分法的偏见与局限。

The Myth of the Silent, Restrained, and Humble Chinese 1

The Exotic Chinese: Stereotype, Misinformation, or Matter of Perspective?

Routes Toward the Images and the Framing 4

In Search of an Alternative Picture 10

What This Book Is About 16

Chapters to Follow 17

The Manipulative Speaker 20

Introduction 20

Some Cultural Foundations of Interpersonal Skills 23

 The Round and the Smooth 25

 Manipulative Talk Devoid of Internal Foundation 29

 The Rhetorical Tradition 34

 Irony and Criticism 38

 A Sense of Ambivalence -- To Be, or Not to Be, Clever 43

Interpersonal Connections as Social Resources 45

 Orders of Relationships -- A Differentiated World 46

 Preference for One's Own People 49

 The Emotional as Utilitarian 51

Manipulating Interpersonal Ties via Talk 54

 Closing Up to Get What One Needs 54

 Balancing Debts of Human Feeling 63

 Negotiating Interpersonal Positioning 71

 Tactics for Going Through Another 79

"Outside People," Outside Category 88

Further Thoughts 94

3 THE Artistic Chinese Speaker I00

 The Written and the Oral i O0

 Some Notes About the Chinese Language 101

 From High Culture to Folk Wisdom 109

 Chinese Rhetorical Traditions 116

 Words as Art and Signs of Wisdom 119

 Philosophy of Language 120

 Indirectness as a Sign of Artistry 123

 Metaphors and Analogies 128

 Summary 131

 Artistic Expressions and Manifestations 131

 Poems 132

 Matched Couplets 139

 Chengyu 142

 Suyan 144

 Verbal Artistry in Action 157

 Capturing Interpersonal Boundaries 158

 Sentiments and Expressions 164

 From Solemnity, to Playfulness, to Humor 173

 Words for Social Occasions 180

 Concluding Remarks 185

4 The Humble Chinese Speaker 187

 The Introspective Chinese 187

 Words and Life: The Moral Universe and the Need for Self-lnspection 188

 Words as a Spiritual and Moral Task 191

 Sincerity as the Foundation for Interpersonal Transactions 197

 Words as Imperfect Means for Describing the Universe 201

 Reasoning with the Universe by Words 206

 Summary 215

 About Care and Concern -- Yuan and Zhai 216

 Yuan, a Buddhist and Folk Concept 220

 Yuan and Zhai: Matters of Causality 224

 Letting Go 228

 The Inter-connected Sentient World 230

 Implications 232

 Humbleness in Action 235

 Halting Speakers -- Their Humility and Modesty 236

 Others First, Self Second 241

 Indirection as a Sign of Politeness 248

 Use of Intermediary 253

 Invitation to Participate 257

 Afterthoughts 263

5 Epilogue: Multldimensionality of Chinese Language Use 267

 The Manipulative, the Artistic, and the Humble: A Recollection 268

 Challenges of Cultural Change and Development 269

 Some Final Words 273

References 275