The author reads various articles he's written for "smart" publications that amusingly record his observations of cultural ephemera. A specialist in inconsequence, he writes glibly about the passing scene in clever phrases. This volume includes profiles of celebrities, opinion pieces, and a smattering of short fiction. His vocal skill is less felicitous than his writing. On the positive side, he adopts a light, chatty tone and a brisk pace that nicely complement his text. He does have some flair as a raconteur. But his scratchy voice grates on this reviewer's nerves, as does his sloppy diction and air of in-crowd smugness.
THINGS THAT ARE TRUE
Southern-Fried Sex Kitten
Bending Spoons with Britney Spears
(This Happened in) October
Mysterious Days
Call me "Lizard King." No... really. I insist.
Crazy Things Seem Normal, Normal Things Seem Crazy
1,400 Mexican Moz Fans Can't Be (Totally) Wrong
Viva Morrleeey!
Chomp Chomp
The Amazing McNugget Diet
McDiculous
My Second-Favorite Canadian
The Karl Marx of the Hardwood
Deep Blue Something
That '70s Cruise
"Deep Sabbath"
In the Beginning, There Was Zoso
Not a Whole Lotta Love
Disposable Heroes
Band on the Couch
Unbuttoning the Hardest Button to Button
Garage Days Unvisited
The Ice Planet Goth
Something Wicked This Way Comes
Fitter, Happier
No More Knives
The American Radiohead
Ghost Story
Bowling for the Future (and Possibly Horse Carcasses)
Local Clairvoyants Split Over Future
But I Still Think "All for Leyna" Is Awesome
The Stranger
Debriefing Agent Zero
Gummi Bear All-American
Someone Like You
Dude Rocks Like a Lady
Taking The Streets to the Music
Untitled Geezer Profile
Five Interesting Corpses
The Ratt Trap
How Real Is Real?
The Tenth Beetle
Here's "Johnny"
Fargo Rock City, for Real
To Be Scene, or Not to Be Seen
THINGS THAT MIGHT BE TRUE
The Two Motives Hypothetical
Bonds vs. America
The Grizzly Hypothetical
Nemesis
The Transformation Hypothetical
Advancement
The Unknown Companion Hypothetical
I Do Not Hate the Olympics
The Dress Code Hypothetical
Three Stories Involving Pants
The Court of Public Opinion Hypothetical
Don't Look Back in Anger
The Brain Pill Hypothetical
Not Guilty
The Life Plagiarist Hypothetical
Cultural Betrayal
The Universal Morality Hypothetical
Monogamy
The Joe Six-Pack Hypothetical
Certain Rock BandsYou Probably Like
The Hitler Theft Hypothetical
Pirates
The Robot War Hypothetical
Robots
The Cannibal's Quandary
Super People
The Future Prediction Quandary
Chaos
The Desert Island Hypothetical
4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42
The Telekinetic Hypothetical
Pong x Infinity
The Stereotypical Jesus Hypothetical
I Wanna Get Free
The Apocalypse Hypothetical "
Television
The General Tso's Hypothetical
Singularity
SOMETHING THAT ISN'T TRUE AT ALL
You Tell Me
Acknowledgments
Index