The Diary of a Nobody is so unassuming a work that even its author, George Grossmith, seemed unaware that he had produced a masterpiece. For more than a century this wonderfully comic portrayal of suburban life and values has remained in print, a source of delight to generations of readers, and a major literary influence, much imitated but never equalled. If you don't recognise yourself at some point in The Diary you are probably less than human. If you can read it without laughing aloud you have no sense of humour.

The Diary of a Nobody is that peculiar achievement, an accidental masterpiece. Generations of talented authors have striven to produce a work of fiction that will survive them; but even a muchpraised novel, frequently reprinted, is more likely than not to recede after the author's death, washed away to unexplored shelves in remote second-hand bookshops. George Grossmith was not an author at all, in the accepted sense, but a professional performer, a writer only of songs and sketches. Yet in contributing an occasional series to a comic magazine he somehow sketched out a miniature classic which is still in print, still distinctive and delightful, over a century later. The Diary has had a spirited after-life, being adapted for the stage more than once and turned into a musical...

INTRODUCTION

BIBLIOGRAPHY

CHAPTER 1

We settle down in our new home, and I resolve to keep a diary.

Tradesmen trouble us a bit, so does the scraper. The curate

calls and pays me a great compliment.

CHAPTER 2

Tradesmen and the scraper still troublesome. Gowing rather

tiresome with his complaints of the paint. I make one of the

best jokes of my life. Delights of gardening. Mr S tillbrook,

Gowing, Cummings, and I have a little misunderstanding.

Sarah makes me look a fool before Cummings.

CHAPTER 3

A conversation with Mr Merton on Society. Mr and Mrs James,

of Sutton, come up. A miserable evening at the Tank Theatre.

Experiments with enamel paint. I make another good joke;

but Gowing and Cummings are unnecessarily offended.

I paint the bath red, with unexpected result.

CHAPTER 4

The Ball at the Mansion House.

CHAPTER 5

After the Mansion House Ball. Carrie offended. Gowing

also offended. A pleasant party at the Cummingses'.

Mr Franching, of Peckham, visits us.

CHAPTER 6

The unexpected arrival home of our son, Willie Lupin Pooter.

CHAPTER 7

Home again. Mrs James's influence on Carrie. Can get nothing

for Lupin. Next-door neighbours are a little troublesome. Someone

tampers with my diary. Got a place for Lupin. Lupin startles

us with an announcement.

CHAPTER 8

Daisy Mutlar sole topic of conversation. Lupin's new berth.

Fireworks at the Cummingses'. The’Holloway Comedians'.

Sarah quarrels with the charwoman. Lupin's uncalled-for

interference. Am introduced to Daisy Mutlar. We decide

to give a party in her honour.

CHAPTER 9

Our first important party. Old friends and new friends.

Gowing is a little annoying; but his friend, Mr Stillbrook,

turns out to be quite amusing. Inopportune arrival of

Mr Perkupp, but he is most kind and complimentary.

Party a great success.

CHAPTER 10

Reflections. I make another good joke. Am annoyed at the

constant serving-up of the blancmange. Lupin expresses

his opinion of weddings. Lupin falls out with Daisy Mutlar.

CHAPTER 11

We have a dose of Irving imitations. Make the acquaintance of

a Mr Padge. Don't care for him. Mr Burwin-Fosselton

becomes a nuisance.

CHAPTER 12

A serious discussion concerning the use and value of my diary.

Lupin's opinion of Christmas. Lupin's unfortunate engagement

is on again.

CHAPTER 13

I receive an insulting Christmas card. We spend a pleasant

Christmas at Carrie's mother's. A Mr Moss is rather too free.

A boisterous evening, during which I am struck in the dark.

I receive an extraordinary letter from Mr Mutlar senior,

respecting Lupin. We miss drinking out the old year.

CHAPTER 14

Begin the year with an unexpected promotion at the office.

I make two good jokes. I get an enormous rise in my salary.

Lupin speculates succesqfully and starts a pony-trap. Have

to speak to Sarah. Extraordinary conduct of Gowing's.

CHAPTER 15

Gowing explains his conduct. Lupin takes us for a drive,

which we don't enjoy. Lupin introduces us to Mr Murray Posh.

CHAPTER 16

We lose money over Lupin's advice as to investment, so does

Cummings. Murray Posh engaged to Daisy Mutlar.

CHAPTER 17

Marriage of Daisy Mutlar and Murray Posh. The dream

of my life realised. Mr Perkupp takes Lupin into the office.

CHAPTER 18

Trouble with a stylographic pen. We go to a Volunteer Ball,

where I am let in for an expensive supper. Grossly insulted

by a cabman. An odd invitation to Southend.

CHAPTER 19

Meet Teddy Finsworth, an old school-fellow. We have a

pleasant and quiet dinner at his unde's, marred only by

a few awkward mistakes on my part respecting

Mr Finsworth’ s pictures. A discussion on dreams.

CHAPTER 20

Dinner at Franching's to meet Mr Hardfur Hurtle.

CHAPTER 21

Lupin is discharged. We are in great trouble. Lupin gets

engaged elsewhere at a handsome salary.

CHAPTER 22                       

Master Percy Edgar Smith James. Mrs James (of Sutton)

visits us again and introduces’spiritual seances'.

CHAPTER 23                       

Lupin leaves us. We dine at his new apartments, and hear some

extraordinary information respecting the wealth of Mr Murray Posh.

Am sent for by Mr Hardfur Hurtle. Important.

CHAPTER THE LAST                             

One of the happiest days of my life.

NOTES